Figured You Out
by Draco's Addiction
Summary: VAM. JackassHIM. Songfic. Over time, the changes in Bam begin to frighten Ville. Disclaimer within.


**Name: Figured You Out**

**Genre: One shot: Song fic**

**Disclaimer: The song is "Figured You Out" by Nickelback. I own neither Bam, nor Ville, unfortunately. But I can dream, can't I?**

**A/N: Okay, this wormed its way into my head and WOULD NOT go away until I wrote it down.**

_I like your pants around your feet  
And I like the dirt that's on your knees_

You always were a crazy one. Never a dull moment with you, was there sweetheart? There never used to be a time when I didn't smile at something you did or said. And I loved you for it.

_And I like the way you still say please  
While you're looking up at me  
You're like my favorite damn disease_

I can think back and remember the first time we had sex. The sloppy kisses, the fumbling to undo buttons, the sweat on our skin, your body beneath mine, whispered words... We couldn't get enough of each other. The look of each other, the scent, the taste, the feel, the sounds of joined moans...

_And I love the places that we go  
And I love the people that you know_

Party, party, party... That's what we were good at. I would take you out on the town, whether it be Helsinki, West Chester, or anywhere in between. I loved showing you off. My little party animal. We would dance, drink, and just be with friends. Yours and mine.

_And I love the way you can't say "No"  
Too many long lines in a row  
I love the powder on your nose_

I would watch you down shot after shot at the urge of our friends; laughing at your slurred words, at your inability to know when enough is enough. Even the occasional line or two of white powder that found its way into your (and my, admittedly) nostrils made me laugh, because they made YOU laugh. Like I said: Never a dull moment with us.

_And now I know who you are  
It wasn't that hard  
Just to figure you out  
Now I did, you wonder why_

And that was us. We were invincible, the two of us. Nothing anyone else could say made any difference to us. We were enough for each other and the world could either accept it or not. Fuck them.

_I like the freckles on your chest  
And I like the way you like me best_

We were inseparable, us two. When we weren't on tours or various gigs, we were always together. A plane ticket was all we needed and I could hold you in my arms within a days notice. And between the two of us, we went through a lot of tickets.

_And I like the way you're not impressed  
While you put me to the test_

I remember talking to you on the phone those nights when we couldn't be together. Nights when we were half a world apart. The nights you would whine about missing me so much, and I would try to tell you I couldn't get away just yet. You never cared for my excuses, though. Those nights would end either with the both of us playfully teasing each other, using our voices to get the other so hott that the sound of soft sighs and moans could be heard over the line in between words of love, or they would end with you stating that you'd be here the next morning and don't even think about trying to talk you out of it.

_I like the white stains on your dress_

There was another word for us also: Insatiable. Always sneaking off to some remote corner, giggling as we tried to keep our voices down. Not like we were fooling anyone or anything when we'd both emerge twenty minutes later, hair sticking out every which way from our grabbing fingers, clothes wrinkle and askew with mysterious wet spots, faces flushed, lips swollen... No, we didn't fool anyone.

_I love the way you pass the check  
And I love the good times that you wreck_

Remember my birthday? The one where you got so drunk that you started dancing around, jumping on the furniture? All those stuffed shirts that the record label invited got so disgusted that they left. I remember laughing so hard that I had to grab my inhaler. The party was so dull until you got there, love.

_And I love your lack of self respect  
While you're passed out on the deck_

Remember your birthday? The one where I set a concert right in your backyard and played all night? Just for you? You were so funny. Giant goofy grin on your face the entire night. You even started a mosh pit. Heh. To 'Killing Loneliness' of all songs... Next morning found you, sans pants, lying bottom half on - top half off the lawn chairs on the deck, face first on the ground, feet in the air.

_I love my hands around your neck_

I remember slow dancing with you in your room once. Midnight, no light but the moon shining in through the window, radio barely audible in the background, your arms gripping my hips while mine were wound around your neck. I remember smelling your hair when you lowered your head to my shoulder as we rocked back and forth slowly. I remember we made love after that. Slow, gentle... we didn't stop until the sun replaced the moon in the window.

_And I know who you are  
It wasn't that hard  
Just to figure you out  
Now I did, you wonder why  
Why not before, you never tried  
Gone for good, and this is it_

You changed, though. You got worse. Beer wasn't enough anymore. Vodka wasn't enough. You started downing anything anyone put in front of you as if it were water. One line turned to two, turned to three... I wasn't the only one who noticed, either. But you wouldn't hear any of it. You were just fine and no one could tell you any different.

_I like your pants around your feet  
And I like the dirt that's on your knees_

I tried to pretend that it was just my imagination. I tried to ignore it. I continued to go on, laughing at you and your antics. I tried. But I knew. I knew it was different. But I kept on... I had to. I had to prove to myself that I was just seeing things, that you WERE just fine.

_And I like the way you still say please  
While you're looking up at me  
You're like my favorite damn disease_

Our visits became less frequent. Fewer plane tickets. Fewer late night phone calls filled with words of love and lust filled moans. But when we did see each other... God it was still so amazing. You were always so desperate for me, begging me, pleading me... I guess that's why I never questioned when we would spend months apart, because after those months were over and I was in your arms again, it was still so breathtaking...

_And I hate the places that we go  
And I hate the people that you know_

What happened to all of your friends? I'll tell you what happened. They left. They left when you changed. They couldn't deal with you anymore. And your new friends... if you could call them "friends" at all. They all just want something from you. But then again, you just want something from them, too.

_And I hate the way you can't say "No"  
Too many long lines in a row  
I hate the powder on your nose_

I remember the exact moment I stopped laughing... I remember hearing the sound of you inhaling the... I don't even know the count of the lines you did that night. Too many. I remember looking into your eyes and seeing... nothing. There was nothing there, Bammie. They were empty.

I haven't laughed since.

_And now I know who you are  
It wasn't that hard  
Just to figure you out  
Now I did, you wonder why  
Why not before, you never tried_

I don't know what to do. You aren't the man I fell in love with... You're not my Bammie anymore. No more laugh filled nights, no more rendezvous to bathroom stalls to kiss and touch, no more swaying to soft music as we whisper our love to each other in the moonlight, no more nights of soft touches and love making 'til the sun comes up... My Bammie...

My Bammie is gone...

_Gone for good, and this is it_


End file.
